You will be relieved to know that today, before writing this, I showered. Soap was involved. I am therefore clean. In the matter of my danker, moist crevices cleanliness is clearly the way to go. Where my lunch is concerned, however, I do not hanker after anything that can be described as clean. Sure, I want my plates without skid marks, my lettuce leaves without half an allotment's sod. Sadly, though, that is not what the phrase "eating clean" now means.
"Eating clean" is a Thing. We know this because BuzzFeed.com, the arbiter of when something becomes a Thing, recently posted a "clean eating challenge". What does the phrase mean, apart from a wretched violation of the English language in a way that makes a good argument for corporal punishment? Oh, you know: it means joylessness, piety, self-regard, self-delusion and staggering pomposity. Gwyneth Paltrow"eats clean", which tells you all you need to know.
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